The Secrets in a Name

You can’t judge a book by its cover. But surely you can decode a person by examining the name. To unravel the secret traits all you have to do is to shuffle the letters in the name. And choose an anagram that makes sense. Don’t believe me? Try Osama Bin Laden. The anagram reads IS A BANAL DEMON.

No. That’s no fluke. If you still don’t buy my theory check out the anagrams below. I’ve painstakingly sifted the wheat from the chaff for your benefit.

SONIA GANDHI = Oh India Snag!
(An allusion to the one glitch in her CV that prevents her from being the Indian PM)

LAL KRISHNA ADVANI = Vandal Has Liar Kin
(The Rath Yatra and the Babri Masjid Demolition. Don’t know about the liar kin.)

SACHIN RAMESH TENDULKAR = A Scarehead Milks Nth Run
(Scarehead in newspaper parlance is a headliner)

AISHWARYA RAI = A Raw Shayarii
(For the verbally challenged Shayarii is a form of Urdu Poetry)

NARENDRA MODI = A Darn Dim Nero
(Remember how this dithering genius let Gujarat burn?)

MADHURI DIXIT = A Hit Mix Druid
(A reference to her hajaar hits)

SALMAN KHAN = Ash Klan Man
(Once upon a time Sallu was Ash’s man)

ANU MALIK = Maal In UK
(Maal is of course the stuff Anu Malik freely borrows)

AAMIR KHAN = I am Hank Ra.
(Don’t we call Aamir the Tom Hanks of India?)

PREITY ZINTA = A Prize Ntity
(Her celebrity hood was assured the day she was named)

LEANDER PAES = Apes An Elder
(Leander took to Sports like his Dad. And won an Olympic medal like his dad.)

VINOD MEHTA = Hint: Am Dove
(Anybody who reads Outlook will swear Vinod is a liberal minded peacenik)

SUSHMITA SEN = I Stash Menus
(This reveals a facet not too many are aware of. Sush loves food and restaurateurs. It’s her dream to start a food chain after she quits acting.)

NATHURAM GODSE = Means A Hurt Dog
(An apt anagram for a beast who killed Gandhi under the pretext of hurt Hindu pride)

MEDHA PATKAR = Pet Dam Hark
(Her pet peeve – the Narmada Dam)

MANEKA GANDHI = A Name Kid Nag
(Maneka has ensured an entire generation of kids will carry the names she compiled in the Book of Names)

SARDAR PATEL = Salt Parader
(He was destined to participate in the famous Dandi March)

MANI RATNAM = I’m An Art Man
(Now we know fine art is in his veins and name)

DAWOOD IBRAHIM = Oh Bad War Idiom!
(Guess who’s responsible for the gang wars in Mumbai?)

RK NARAYAN = A-Rank Yarn
(Quality story telling uske naam mein likha hai)

ARUNDHATI ROY = A Horrid Aunty!!!!
(I am adding this anagram not to prove any point but just to poke fun at a figure everyone loves to hate.)

Case rested.