Sunday, March 20, 2005

Why did the murgi cross the road?

Sitaram Yechuri: What’s more important is did it cross the road from left or right. If it chose left then it’s a progressive, secular and a liberal chicken. If it chose right then it must be anti-people.

Ambika Soni: This can only be decided by the Congress high command. Our leader Soniaji will issue a statement soon.

Venkaiah Naidu: Arre bhai, the funda is very clear. The murgi is a BJP worker. Jab ek haath mein jhanda aur doosre haath mein ho agenda, tho anda kaisey rahega thanda!

Karunanidhi: Why discuss Hindi-speaking murgis? Why not talk about Tamil-speaking murugans?

Jayalalitha: I wish to remind people that Karunanidhi is hoodwinking the public. In his many years of misrule he did nothing for the murugans. I hereby announce a reward of Rs. 1 lakh for any murugan crossing the road.

Mayawati: The murgi wants to cross the road because it’s part of the bahujan samaj. Every one in the bahujan samaj wants to cross roads but manuwadi forces represented by the BJP, Congress & Mulayam Singh Yadav are placing roadblocks. Hamein koi nahin rok sakta!

Amar Singh: My behen Mayawati only talks bakwaas. She forgets the murgis are at crossroads because of her gooda raj. Maulayamji is taking all steps to ensure they cross the road. We have even announced a 77% reservation for all Yadav, Dalit and Muslim murgis.

Laloo Prasad Yadav: Bhy should a murgi cross the road? Ghar ki murgi dal barabaar. Toh isliye desh basiyon hum…laloo prasad yadav, union railway minishter ye announcement karta hai ki kal sey har gaon mein ek Murgi Express chalegi.

Praveen Togadia: Hindu virodhi Laloo Prasad Yadav ne apne vote bank ke liye Murgi Express ka ailaan kiya. This has hurt the sentiments of 80 crore Hindus. The cow is the sacred symbol of Hindustan not murgi. So we demand a Gomata Express. Otherwise we will be forced to launch a Go Yatra.

Chandrababu Naidu: I condemn the attempt to communalise this issue. If the BJP doesn’t disassociate itself from Togadia’s statement, we will be forced to review our equations with the NDA. As for the Murgi, I did a lot as the Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh. We built 35,000 roads, 16000 poultry farms and a round-the-clock telephone line to receive feedback from the murgis. And for doing all this my take home pay was chicken feed

Maneka Gandhi: I feel this is an intrusion into the private life of a young, impressionable bird. This discussion may crush the individuality of the chicken and may severely hamper its ability to evolve into a mother hen. I am going to fight this tooth and nail. Anyone indulging in this dangerous debate should be arrested under Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Pranoy Roy: Exit polls conducted by Dorab Sopariwala have indicated that 65% of the murgis feel it may be because of the TINA (there is no alternative) factor.

Mahesh Bhatt: This is symptomatic of the female fixation in this country. It wouldn’t have been such a big issue if a murga had crossed the road.

Harsha Bhogle: All I can say is it’s not cricket. For expert comments, you should ask Sunil Gavaskar or Sir Geoffrey Boycott.

Cyrus Broacha: Hats off to the murgi! I think the chicks in India have really come of age.

Ram Gopal Verma: That’ll make a great title for my next movie. May be I’ll cast Antara Mali as the murgi. It’ll make one hell of a concept.

Anu Malik: I am inspired by this intriguing question to create a really original song. (whips out his harmonium and plays with a blissful look) Ye kya hua…kaise hua…kab hua…kyon hua…ye na poocho…

Arundhati Roy: I shall let you know my view with a fiery article written using 20,000 words for the Outlook Magazine. The title will be ‘The Angst of The Headless Chicken’

Vishwanathan Anand: I am more interested in the number of moves the murgi would have made to cross the road.

Govt. Spokesperson: We have appointed a 3-member committee headed by Justice Bakra Singh to enquire into this. The report should be ready in 6-months. We request the general public to desist from airing their views to ensure a free and fair enquiry.


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