Monday, April 25, 2005

30 Excuses For Quitting Your Job

For all those who want to sex up your resignation letters, here’s my 30 bits to help your cause…

1. I can’t take your body odour any more…
2. I want to pursue my childhood dream of watching the grass grow…
3. My IQ has halved after you took over…
4. The yummy looking secretaries have concentrated my dilution…
5. I am delighted to inform you that I’ve found a more comical circus…
6. I wish to be a shepherd and not a sheep…
7. The lunch break is too short for my appetite…
8. Since you’ve denied my request for bringing my pet python to my cubicle…
9. My designation is the reason for this resignation…
10. Before you dispose me off in an office furniture sale, I thought I’d surprise you…
11. The coffee tastes yuck…
12. Eight hours seem like eighty hours here…
13. My colleague harassed me by saying, ‘main tere bachchey ki maa banney wali hoon...’
14. I strongly protest your puerile attempts to block my progress in Need 4 Speed…
15. If I stay here long enough, I am afraid I might commit a murder…
16. I am tired of catching the cricket scores on cricinfo. I’d rather join a company that can afford a fucking TV…
17. Because there’s no one worth sleeping around here…
18. I wish to inform you that with the generous raise you gave me last night I was able to buy a pen, a paper and enough ink to draft this letter…
19. The most creative person here seems the photocopier…
20. I see a total absence of intellectually stimulating journals like playboy or hustler in our office library…
21. Since my wife plans to torment me by joining this office I am left with no choice but to leave this place…
22. My dog feels very lonely these days…
23. I badly need a hundred crore rupees. I don’t think this miserly organization has enough loose cash to lend me the same…
24. I am scandalized to note that no one uses a condom here…
25. My tenure with this esteemed organization has given me enough grist to pen a hilarious joke book…
26. I have noted that the Indian Cricket Team does better whenever I watch the matches from home…
27. Guess what? I went in for an X-ray yesterday. The doctor observed that I had a missing spine. He says it might have vanished because of my stint with your organization…
28. Dear boss, I’ve heard rumours that you will be leaving soon. Since the only source of entertainment is gonna disappear, I don’t see any point in sticking around any more…
29. I am afraid that you might infect me with your incompetence…
30. The bottom line is I need new asses to lick…

5 Comments:

Blogger Übermaniam said...

india shining.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Ravages said...

My tenure with this esteemed organization has given me enough grist to pen a hilarious joke book…

. The most creative person here seems the photocopier…

Totally agree. Wish this post came earlier, like about 6 months back. I could have used it.

1:57 AM  
Blogger catcharun said...

no.26 is the best..seems to be the most desi reason.

i wonder how "the generous raise you gave last night" translates into money to buy ink..oh wait u were talking abt the money there

5:34 AM  
Blogger inlivenout said...

Forgetting the fact that the post is quite funny and I laughed when I read it,I hope the scenario changes someday.Hopeless?Hope not.

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Arif Hemdani said...

# 16.. its the best one!!!!

4:16 AM  

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