Sanjay Narang’s Recipe For BCCI

(A piece I wrote for Ughsport, the funniest cricket blog on the net)

Something’s cooking at the BCCI. An unimpeachable source in the kitchen cabinet of Jaggu Dalmiya informs us that the famed restaurateur Sanjay Narang had recently met the board and presented a plateful of ideas for milking more money from that under performing cash cow called the Indian cricket team. It is reliably learnt that JagguG was particularly tickled by an appetizing proposal for brand extensions. Sanjay Narang’s secretary’s brother’s driver gave us a sneak preview of these extensions. We’ve faithfully reproduced the same for your benefit:

Ganguly’s Rosogollas
USP: Taste that lingers, innings after innings.

Laxman’s Fish Fingers
USP: Buttered like never before.

Dravid’s Wallnuts
USP: Cracks under extreme pressure.

Sachin’s Hot & Sour Soup
USP: Sometimes hot. Mostly sour.

Sehwag’s Cookies
USP: It crackles. It crumbles.

Yuvraj’s Donuts
USP: The biggest hole in the middle.

Agarkar’s Bombay Duck
USP: The name is the guarantee.

Irfan’s Bubble Gum
USP: You won’t see a bigger bubble.

Zaheer’s Home Delivery
USP: Predictably fast.

Nehra’s Lollipops
USP: Smack worthy stuff.

Bhaji’s Buffet
USP: Six mouth-watery servings.

Murali’s Pizza
USP: We toss one up every minute.