Monday, June 26, 2006

What are the Ambanis & Mallyas going to give?

Bill Gates has pledged to give away $30 billion before enters the pearly gates of heaven.

His pal Warren Buffet has announced that he'll pump in $37.4 billion into charity.

George Soros gifts almost $400 million to causes close to his heart.

Ted Turner donated $1 billion to the United Nations, not so long ago.

66% of the profits of Tata Sons go to charitable causes.

The Birlas gave us the planetariums & plenty of temples.

What are the Mallyas & Ambanis gonna give us?

I am curious.

Mittal is not India

Anyone who reads Economic Times today, might get the impression that India has taken over France. For godsake guys, it's after all a marriage between two corporate fat cats. Why give the Mittal-Arcelor deal a 'India-Shining' spin? What if Mittal Steel crashes? Would the MSM project it as 'India's collapse'? Grow up, folks. Show more moderation.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

My Coded Message To The Aliens



Thursday, June 22, 2006

Thought Bubble # 199

Is it possible to invent a memory gun that can induce amnesia without any physical harm? What I have in mind, is a permanent version of the one used in MIB. Such a weapon can help us win wars without firing a real bullet. It might also be useful in prisons to reboot criminal minds. We can do away with capital punishment. We can stop riots. We can overcome depressions & heartbreaks. But there is also the flip side. In the hands of an idle mind, it might end up causing a lot of chaos.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Merit & Not Passport

Shashi Tharoor, India's nominee for the post of UN Secretary General, is reported to have said that, 'candidates will have to stand on our own merits and will have to have own credentials, rather than our passports as the principal qualification'. No one can have any disputes on that. But our home grown mandalites are sure to object. Because given a choice, they'd rather lobby for reservations for the 'Backward Class'. My point is, if 'backwardness' was the basis, the United Nations would forever be headed by someone from Sub Saharan Africa. Now would you want that Mr. Arjun Singh?

Monday, June 12, 2006

Karan Makes Chidambaram Squirm

Like me, if you didn't have the pleasure of seeing Finance Minister P. Chidambaram squirm, then I suggest you settle for the transcript to get a whiff of Karan Thapar's now famous interview with PC. Karan may have got a few facts wrong, but overall I think he managed to strip Chidambaram down to his 'reservation-has-worked-in-south' figleaf. Also visit Reality Check for an update. After reading the transcript, only one thought crossed my mind: why didn't our dishonourable members of parliament consider it important to even have a debate of this scale when they passed the shameful 94th ammendment?

Makes No Sense

It was the 32nd of December.
At 13 AM, I switched on the TV.
On Channel One, I read a movie.
Zap. Zap.
Then I watched a song.
Zap. Zap. Zap.
Got bored. So I called myself.
It was a dull, dreary conversation.
How do you live with him?
I thought to myself.
But he had sharp ears.
He called me names.
And put the phone down, rather rudely.
Disgusted with me, I went to the wardrobe.
Pulled out another body.
And stuffed my soul into it.
The fit didn't look right.
But what the hell, at least I looked presentable.
The bell sang.
I ran to answer the window.
As I opened the panes, I saw my red shadow staring at me.
He had come to check on me.
I called him outside.
We sat on two floating sofas.
For an hour, neither spoke.
At 12 AM, my shadow thanked me for my time.
And left me all alone with my many selves.
Then I went to the bathtub and fell asleep.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Finally, a sane voice

Prof. MS Gopinathan says 'OBCs should throw away the demeaning crutches offered'. Just when I was about to pen a rant with the title 'Are we creating a nation of parasites?' I discovered this article in rediff. Go read it.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

A brilliant analogy to rubbish unpaid specwork

I need a partner with whom to have a serious relationship but I don’t want to invest any time or effort in finding the right woman; I shouldn’t have to. I’m a great man and any woman should be proud to be with me, so I’m holding auditions. I’d like for all interested women to visit me and show me your “wares.” I’m definitely looking for someone with a hot bod, and not afraid to show it off. Extra points for staying the night and letting me sample your attentions and enthusiasm.

One lucky winner gets a $400 wedding ring and the prestige of having me for a partner (‘cause I look good). The rest of you just get screwed. Awright, who’s with me?

Extracted from Andy Rutledge's rant on redesign competitions.

Link alert: Adlist.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Should the mandal stir continue?

Should the Y4E unrest go on? Shouldn’t the strikers just cock up and get back to their respective jobs, now that the honorable Supreme Court has decreed silence? Well, the opinions are divided. Our resident mind readers did a quick psychic survey to gauge the reactions of different sections of India. This is what they found out…

CNN IBN: Of course, they must stop protesting….because people are tired of watching the same old footage. C’mon guys, where’s the drama? Not one single suicide. Not one riot. Not even a self-immolation worth recording for posterity…

HEADLINES TODAY: The strike is old hat. We have more important issues to cover like Britney Spears’ pregnancy; Buddhia’s run for his life; Fanaa’s fortunes and Rahul Mahajan’s political launch.

NDTV: The strike is a BJP conspiracy to topple the UPA government. Upper caste doctors and students from elitist schools funded by rich NRIs living in the USA are behind this Mandal agitation. Our correspondent Barkha Roy has discovered that 75 out of 70 students present in her ‘We the People’ program, oppose this.

THE HINDU: The strike is an ingenious ploy by status quo-ists to perpetuate casteism. It has no merit. It is anti-people and is being led by fascist minds who love to hold the nation to ransom….

THE BLOGGER: Don’t surrender guys. We are solidly behind you. If you give up so soon, we’ll have nothing to rant about…

RAKEYSH MEHRA: Continue…continue…as long as you guys keep fighting RDB will be very much in the news.

MANMOHAN SINGH: I am pained to see the attitude of the strikers. I have set up so many committees to go into the issue. Still they want to protest. I am willing to appoint many more committees if it can end the nation’s agony…

SONIA GANDHI: No comments.

DR. ANBUMANI: Thanks to the doctor’s strike, the patient is in the ICU. By patient I am referring to my good self. So for my sake, dayavusaidhu get back to work tomorrow. Or I’ll lose my ministry.

RAJNATH SINGH: We are neither opposed to the strike nor do we support it. At the end of the day all we want is merit should get its due place and the backward castes must get social justice.

ARJUN SINGH: As per my information, the protestors are from the creamy layer of the Upper Castes. If you people don’t stop, the government will be forced to introduce a legislation whereby only 49.5% of the population will have the right to protest.

THE STUDENT: Go on. Go on. We are very much with you. The more you protest, the longer will be our summer vacation.

THE DOCTOR: Paapi pet ka sawaal hai boss. Why should we lose our job? If we don’t join work tomorrow, Supreme Court apna post mortem kar dega.